Everyday Sexism

It's difficult to understand how some men - in this particular case, waiters and taxi drivers in Portuguese resorts along The Algarve -  can come to the conclusion that women who by the simple virtue of lunching or travelling alone (the audacity!) or with a child, are fair game.  I can only assume these fellas are a few Portuguese Tarts short of a bakery. Most of them look like Pinocchio's dad.  Not to blow my own trumpet, but I'm still in very good fucking shape.

I don't need to settle for Pinocchio's dad

I would start by asking these men whether they have actually checked in with themselves (never mind with their wives...)  on the way out to work. First off, let's start by explaining as respectfully as is deserved, that a woman dining alone is not the signal for Open Season.  We're dining alone - we're not standing in a a window of a brothel.  And they all deserved the short shrift received.  What really got me was the fact they thought they could overstep the boundaries of decency in front of my 13 year old daughter.  Lucky for them that she was there or I might have been inclined to punch them in the triple chin area and shove their moronic grandpa faces into a plate of sizzling sardines.  Don't think I wouldn't do it.  I would.

This was my experience, not once but three times in Portugal this year.  I've been happily divorced now for 5 years and in a new relationship for 2 and a half, but I do like to take one holiday a year with my daughter from this first marriage. Yet without fail, every single day of this and past similar holidays have been lessons in the art of male chauvinistic intimidation.  First the inappropriate questions, then the 'free' aperitifs or what has become commonly known as grooming, and then the space invasion. It was pathetic. Beer bellies the size of ballast on a cruise ships shoved into my face as I tired to read the menu, they really do need to get real.

And I did have to tell each and every one.  Subtlety was wasted on these guys, I had to be quite acerbic.  Without exception each reject would stomp off in outraged affront.  Two refused to serve me and one resorted to cantankerously sliding the plates of food at me and my daughter.  I cancelled the meal and left without paying.  And no-one tried to argue the case because they were all complicit. 

I might be of a certain age and I might be a divorcee but I don't have to silently put up with this type of harassment and I don't.

I'm not happy my daughter had to witness these invasions  of privacy and person but at least she now knows that if attention is not invited, if it makes her feel uncomfortable, then it's simply not welcome and frankly these deviants should and can fuck right off.