Sir Winalott

So I didn't win the Euro millions this weekend, which is a shame because it was a triple or even quadruple rollover worth 90 million.  And yes, I wanted it all.  I opened my heart up and thought about winning all week.  I placed a cosmic order to win but in the end, I didn't even get one number.  Not even a cocktail sausage of a chance.  And I honestly believe it's because I blocked.  I didn't truly believe I could win and since thought precedes action - well it stands to reason that it should have resulted in a status quo.  My husband has strategically placed brochures for rehab centres about the place.   But honestly, I'm not going mad.  I KNOW I can win the lottery.  I just have to buy myself winning it.  I have to live the feeling.  And so next week, I'll try again.

See the thing is, I already feel like I've won the lottery (pass the sick bag), no but seriously - I live in relative luxury compared to much of the world.  Apart from the widespread poverty in large chunks of the world, there are also the crises in Japan, Darfur, Zimbabwe, Australia, the Middle East - I could go on.  Dreadful.  Actually I don't have to look that far away for examples.  The current economic crisis in the UK is cause enough to despair.  2.5 million unemployed, cuts to public services left right and centre, the pensions crisis - christ on a cracker!  I have a lot to be grateful for and I truly, deeply am.  So you see, when I thought about what I would do with a lottery win - apart from work out my notice (and that's the first sign that life's really ok - who works out their notice with 90 million in the bank, me apparently) I wouldn't really want to change much in my life that I'm not already working towards now and can realistically achieve without the millions.   True life aspirations are not generally (not in the developed world at least) remediated with money, but instead require staunch dedication.  I have made a solid promise to myself to fulfil certain life-long dreams and I intend to honour it - but none of it will happen overnight.  I would add that I can tick off quite a few already.

That said, money and I mean copious amounts of it would allow me to be more altruistic.  And while that sounds like a pile of cheese, if money were no object, I would spend my days volunteering.... or drinking.  See, that's the kind of  attitude that lets the side down. 

So anyway, I'm planning on winning the lottery next week.  Think of this as an experiment.