(A belated) Day 4: Browning the Beef

I had high hopes for today, it being the last and the sunniest of the half term week.  I wrestled with my conscience over not taking Lish Losh to the jungle jim but it was more than I cold stomach.  The connection between indoor playgrounds and the frosty years in Canada was too disturbing.  In fact it all made me realise that there is a real possibility I might never be able to visit that place ever again. The Silverback will freak.  On second thoughts I might have to go.  I'll walk that plank when I need to. 

Moving on - please.  The day began in a leisurely fashion.  Midday I think it was before we actually set off.  So long term it would appear this staying at home lark would stagnate at some point.  In fact, I know so having been there before I was working full time.  There were days when it was pushing 3pm and we still hadn't left the house.  So all the more reason to celebrate how lovely this week was and appreciate why that was.

It was a scorcher yesterday so I knew at some point a park or fountain would make the itinerary but first we had an appointment with fear.  The dinosaur exhibit at the Natural History Museum.  The first time we went Lishy had a full blown panic attack when it came time to file past the 'real' dinosaur.  Here:



I kid you not my friends, this animatronic full size T-Rex is flippin scary.  Even more than a good scare myself is watching other people shit themselves.  Lishy was one of these the first time round.  She covered her head with a bag (not a plastic one  - put the phones down) but afterwards she pledged that next time, she would look the bugger in the eye. 

So we set out, as I say, like people who had all the time in the world.  I decided to bus it - it's a chance for The Lish to calm the freak down and rest a little while watching the world go by.  It's usually a very Zen experience.  Today (or yesterday to be exact) the traffic was murder.  It took a long-assed time to get there only to find the kind of queue you find outside embassies to countries people actually want to live in.  The sun was now hanging like a succulent peach, dripping it's sticky hotness onto us.  I lobbied hard to go to the Victoria & Albert next door which had no queue (never a good sign) but nonetheless.  The Lish was adamant.  We were going to see the dinosaur.

So we stood in line. For a long time.  Eventually we made it into the cool main hall.  Sweet relief. 

"I don't want to see the dinosaur," said The Lish.  Now, the Natural History is a busy place and that is the only thing that prevented me from drop kicking her into the iconic giant dinosaur skeleton that greets you on entering. 

Suffice to say, we went to see the dinosaur and after a little bit of sheer unmasked terror, Lady Lish came round and stared, if from somewhat an awkward angle, at the very realistic eyes of the beast.  Well done cockerliscious.  I don't think we'll be visiting the exhibit again.

Then it was a hop skip and jump and walk and stop for a pee-pee and a mummy, I'm hungry - you promised me a popsicle to Somerset House in The Strand.  This is a water park that puts all other water parks to shame.



It was slightly busier than this but I want you to feel the grace of the place.  And luckily for mummy there was an exhibition of zodiac heads by kidnapped artist Ai Weiwei which I flippin love. They are freaking amazing.  Such a mystery what's happened to the poor man. 



The day scorched on and I browned the fat a little bit more.  In fact, I will look like I've actually been away at this rate. 

I revelled in the sculptures but before you start pegging me as one of those namby pamby, arty farty types - all I could think was: I wonder is Ai Weiwei is pronounced I wee wee. Which just goes to show that you can take the girl out of the council flat and give her an education yet she will still take the most base route to humour.