I Can See Clearly Now

I've been thinking about the purpose of this blog going forward.  I mean I could use it as a very public "Dear Diary" but it would need to be a lot more revealing to create any impact.  Revealing I have, revealing I can do - believe me. However I would need to kill you all and then also kill all those whose names I had changed to protect.  So that's out. Perhaps I could turn it into something useful - a source of infinite wisdom and knowledge.  God, I can't even type that without losing the will to live.  Who am I kidding?  If I had wisdom and knowledge I wouldn't have ended up in therapy for a year (but like I said, best thing I ever did). So I'll stick to helpful and honest. That's really the best I can do on the advice front.   Then I thought, being a qualified Yoga practitioner I would impart some spiritual guidance...but again - really? Guess, this will have to continue to be my place of purging.   But here is the kicker - I don't really purge anymore.  Therapy armed me with the tools to deal with stress and other mood affecting sensations.  For instance, today I have been feeling teary and truth be told, bored.  Just bored. With nothing in particular.  Bored enough to bid on a bangle on eBay.  Seriously.   In the past this would have caused me to fret and paint everything black.  But now I demand clarity from myself.  So I know that all this is is a combination of PMT and a torn rotator cuff that has got me eating codeine like it was popcorn which in turn has brought my energy levels down.  That's all.  Nothing that an early morning yoga session won't help or a lovely 30 minutes of meditation before bedtime won't solve. In the meantime, I do have important issues to consider.  For instance, my job is sort of almost certainly on the line after my company announced a restructure and my division was cut.  I see this as an opportunity to look at where I'm going work-wise and that really excites me.