Even flow

Oh my Christ! Christmas crept up on me this year.  Woefully unprepared as I am - I do feel that it will be a great Christmas all things said and done.  What a year it's been my delightful supportive friends.  This time last year I was pretty much in the depths of despair wondering whether I had bitten off more than I could chew in what was then my new job.  Crippled by the push-pull of work-parenting and unclear really on what it was I wanted from life now that I'd managed to drag my family back over the Atlantic to London.  Things with The Silverback were as you might expect them to be when you find yourself adrift in the sea of guilt and resentment.

Today - a full year later (you need to take a deep even breath here....and exhale) Oh it's like the difference between night and day.  To say it is much improved would be to do the evolution of it all a great injustice.  To put it in moronically simple terms:  Happy has come home. 

A combination of even flow, persistence, resistance, reluctant maturity, massive amounts of yoga and - hell yeah - a truck load of karma and luck has brought me to this place of content.  Jesus, I don't think I've ever known calm that has felt this sustainable. But it did take hitting Rock Bottom first. 

It's the only way, I guess, for someone as famously (among my circle) fickle as me will ever commit to long term decision making.  Wow - could it be that at 40 I've finally overcome the crippling case of arrested development that has plagued my adult life so far?  Could be my friends, could very well be.