The Crazy World of B-Movies

Went to the BFI (British Film Institute) last night to watch The Corpse Grinders – sold to me as follows; "Look – it’s only an hour long. Beats the pub."


You know it’s going to be all or nothing when you get this kind of offer and it could go either way. I decided not to sweat it. It’s been a week of experimentation. For instance, I’ve just also finished reading Ozzy Osbourne’s AUTObiography no less. It’s at once laugh out loud funny and incredibly inspirational – in an early learning sort of way. Ozzy deserves his fame, though he might have behaved a little better along the way...perhaps? No, scratch that. It wouldn’t have been the same if he’d gone all Jon Bon Jovi on us.

Anyway, back to last night. Let me introduce you to Ted V. Mikels. Campy, outrageous and beyond eccentric independent Z-grade film maker – here are a few movies attributed to him besides The Corpse Grinders. There’s also The Doll Squad, 10 Violent Women and Blood Orgy of the She-Devils. Oh and here is a picture of the man himself:

Here he is in his hey day:

He claims Hollywood stole the idea for Charlie’s Angels off him, referring to the Doll Squad for proof. You be the judge:

The Corpse Grinders  takes place in a cat food factory that uses human flesh as its main ingredient. The owners, a pair of shady characters out of Colombo employ a man clearly suffering from Aspergers to dig up bodies for them to keep the production line going. The grinder in question cost $17 and it shows. The acting is so bad it’s good. I laughed my arse off at the editing. One minute there’s a knock at the door, jump cut to a cat attacking a buxom beauty, bit more jerking of the camera – she’s being fed into the corpse grinder.

There wasn’t a dry eye in the house. Under normal circumstances, you’d dismiss this as utter dross. But then there is an interview with Ted Mikel’s the director, writer, producer, medieval dark lord of his castle and realise he’s being totally sincere and you can’t help yourself; you actually start to rate this crap. I left wanting for more - though I will need just a little time to recover.

You know sometimes you just have to go with the flow, arrive with an open mind.  You  never ever know...    Happy weekend everyone.