I've been watching a little show on The Food Network called Cupcake Wars recently. Actually watching would be too passive a description - truth be told, I've been devouring the show like I would a bucketful of cupcakes after a week in a health farm.
The competitiveness between the bakers is ferocious in a way only Americans can get over pastry. Mind you, they are terribly creative. New to my virtual kitchen i.e. the one that exists only in thought, are red velvet, lime-key pie, tres leches and churro flavoured cupcakes - if only I could cook - but since I can't cook for toffee, I live vicariously through these shows.
The workmanship, the quality...it's dazzling. From the 5 foot high displays to the organic vegan ingredients - it's quite amazing the life force energy these chefs and business owners put into the humble cupcake. Last night for example, the theme was Seaworld. They were tasked with including sea salt and seaweed into the recipes. Disgusting as it sounds, I didn't see any regurgitating by the judges - the greedy little ferrets.
That's the other thing: everyone looks like a Yoga goddess - like they've never eaten a whole cupcake in their lives.
I got to thinking what that show would be like if it were done by the British. First off it would have to be called Muffin Wars, which already feels like something you should not be doing in the kitchen.
Innovative flavours would include rhubarb, marmite and if we're being really exotic - cucumber and the most impressive muffin tops would be the ones exposed by the chefs as they bent over to put the baking trays in the oven. Themes would include public transport and hoodies.
I've just checked quickly and tonight's theme for Cupcake Wars is Aphrodisiacs. Flippin' eck! That's one I'll have to slip into something much more comfortable for. I'm imagining red velvet, chocolate, honey, pomegranate and gold leaf.
The Brits would struggle with that theme wouldn't they? Is powered egg too saucy?
Oh behave!
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