So we made it through the first year of The Lish's schooling as working parents. No small or cheap feat but you can't put a price on good childcare right? Well, not quite, and especially not when the childminder 'forgets' to pick up her charge but we'll get to that later.
We even made it through the yawningly long school summer holidays thanks to the most amazing and hell, why not? cheap adventure playground (about time parents were thrown a bone). I don't mind telling you that I did not sleep the night before Lishy's first day at this place with its open door and no roll call policy. Scenes from 'Missing' tortured me all night long and the next day I was so on edge I started a fight with the childminder for no good reason (I apologised immediately and profusely) but I was scared shitless at the prospect of leaving a 5 year old in a place that was not allowed, by law, to stop your kid from walking out of the front (or back or side) gate into the waiting arms of a psycho.
I considered doubling the already ludicrous amounts we were paying the childminder to take Lishy fulltime knowing this was obviously not possible, I even thought about jacking in the job - we all know what I really want to do is teach yoga (but yoga won't pay for the Lish to go to college) - so there it was, the stark reality - I was was going to have to live with the situation - at least for now.
I fretted all morning until I could stand it no longer and cracked calling the place demanding the manager put Lishy on the phone and then I called again at lunchtime. To be fair, they were very understanding. And when picking up time came, I texted the childminder for an update. What can I say? Mummy feared for her cub's wellbeing.
As it turned out it wasn't the adventure playground I needed to worry about. The place turned out to be the very best thing about the summer break with The Lish looking forward to it every day and more than a little sad when the inevitable end came and she had to go back to school. And the open door policy? Brilliant! Genius! It makes the kids feel all the more responsible. We were just one day from the beginning of school, breathing a sigh of relief that despite it all, we had made it through one full academic year, holidays and all with no real childminding headaches when the childminder pisses off on holiday, doesn't tell me, leaves her 15 year old in charge who promptly forgets to collect The Lish. It's ok, Lishy was thankfully spared the trauma of knowing the truth by the wonderful staff at the playground who hung back until I could get there, playing with her as if it really wasn't long after the end of the day and she really wasn't the last child there.
When I got the call, my first thought was that something bad had happened to the childminder - I was actually almost more concerned for this person than for my little sea cucumber, generous fool that I am. To top it all, there was a signal failure on the underground meaning I was stranded in a tunnel unable to communicate with anyone and pretty much pulling my hair out by that point.
When I finally made it to the playground, I was close to nervous collapse but there she was my smiling angel, unaware of the frantic race I'd just run. Mania subsided into relief to be replaced by anger. WHERE THE FUCK WAS THE CHILDMINDER? I guess she thought a couple of paranoid fools didn't deserve to be consulted.
When confronted, she accused us of over-reacting about something that could have happened to anyone, that could have happened to us. So just to be clear, this person thought that it was possible a parent could forget they had a kid.
- Honey, what's for dinner?
- Oh I don't know, what do you fancy?
- Uhm, something light. Say, I can't help feeling we've forgotten something...
Where is the accountability? WHERE! I suppose some people actualy believe the world owes them a living. Well, let's just say that childminder is no more. One day before the start of another school year. So close! but no cigar.
Lost for what to do, afraid that I would afterall have to leave my job, I discovered I have THE most amazingly supportive network of mums who pulled together to help a sister out and proving that it really does takes a village to raise a child. I offer up thanks daily to these women.
We have a wonderful new woman now looking after our little pencil who I might add would sooner forget to breath than abandon her duties towards a child. I believe she was literally sent by god.
The dog days are gone.
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