Sunday, July 1, 2018

The Treacherous Approach to Retirement


Please like me
I start a new job tomorrow.  Securing this role required every imaginable effort beginning with well-formed narratives (no mean feat when you haven't had to interview in years) to character containment that only appears natural after hitting the very limit of mental and emotional fatigue - before which you just come across as a desperate mentalist.

Job seeking is not a new experience which is why the very thought of it brings with it a lurch deep inside the stomach that I'm sure is designed to ensure you never entertain the idea of changing employment lightly.  At best it's a steep learning curve and at worst it can be terrifically soul destroying but always, without exception, it is most definitely worth it.

As a younger woman I used to enjoy interviewing, excited by possibilities and naive to what amounted to everyday sexism or other forms of prejudice.  As you get older however, you're starkly aware of the gender-based preconceptions that precede you, which can make the undertaking that much more nerve janglingly frustrating.

Countdown to the pension
These days, I feel in many ways that I am at the start of the end of my career runway, gradually taxi-ing towards V1 - the 'commit to fly' speed - when I will eventually lift off towards my last job before I can consider taking it all down a notch and by that I really just mean downsizing everything in my life such that I don't need 'the big job' any more.  Of course I will always want 'a job' but eventually I can see myself being perfectly happy with a shop job for pin money so to speak.  Actually I'd quite like to work in a country pub.

Well, let's just make it to old age first, shall we?

Village Libido
Similarly, I may end up being a lawyer or teacher. Who the heck knows.  I will also of course be living in Dibley with my lover.  I understand the country air and general lack of distraction keeps the libido alive. I'm definitely up for testing that theory out afterall I wouldn't want to end up like Benjamin Britten who when asked if he had any regrets in life stated that he wished he'd 'had more sex'.



I don't...yet...
So my big plan for 2018 is taking shape.  The new job was the first step with a move to the country coming up the inside lane but that is for 'my next trick' and then it seems making sure I take a libidinous paramour.  I've also given some thought to perhaps becoming a wife again however until the idea stops making me feel queasy I imagine it's better to suppress the urge.  In this sense, I'm still of the mind that life is way too short.


However in the life plan sense, there is time for everything.  Here goes nothing!




No comments: