The Kindness of Strangers

It isn't often that we come across the true kindness of strangers because usually as we go about our daily lives, especially when we are not in need, we really aren't that interested in receiving anything from strangers let alone this intangible thing called 'kindness'. In a world where we almost always give to receive - yes that is what networking is all about afterall and in my experience those who say stuff like 'pay it forward' are not interested in a long-term relationship . That's not fine. Chance meetings on the other hand are not bound by any such terms and conditions and as such the after-effects don't have a very long shelf -life...or do they?

Let me explain the kindness I'm referring to because it comes in many forms and is open to interpretation of course. Different strokes.

I was in town for two 'networking' meetings! Ha ha. I was early - quite early and I decided to kill time over a tea and a crossword inside the underpass that links East and West Bloor. I guess I owe it all to lack of space in such warren-like conditions because I was forced to share a table the size of a loonie (2 pound coin for the Brits) with at first one and then another person in quick succession.

Doing crosswords in public is very insular but I'm not the sort that can sit and do nothing when I'm waiting around for time to pass but the act of having to ask whether a chair was free gave the other occupant of this doll sized coffeehouse an opening. She was there for a risk management job fair. I could sense she was at once nervous and hopeful and I will the light of success her way.

She was knowledgeable about the financial markets and being Chinese just plain intelligent about everything else. While she soothed her nerves by 'practicing' her interview lines on me, I found the exercise cathartic and calming. Two Johnny foreigners being proactive in the city of Toronto at a time when even the natives are having a hard time. Off she went with my well wishes but before leaving, she scooped a magazine out of her bag and tore out the crossword page for me saying, "I'm more a SuDoKu person."

Warmed by this I turned my attention in a less insular fashion to my new crossword and it wasn't long before the next caffeine junkie was asking me if he could sit at my table.

I wasn't expecting lightning to strike twice but it did. This man, I would have put him in his late 50s perhaps early 60s, originally from Calcutta and as it turns out educated at a British Raj school (by choice and happily) mistook me for a South African. I get that a lot. That or Australian. Believe me, my London accent is unmistakable...Well this led to the most fascinating conversation. Its eloquence took me by surprise.

This most educated man with smiling green eyes and an attitude of gratitude that would put the most deferential person on their guard, talked about how he left India as a young man because he couldn't reconcile himself with the misogyny of the place. He talked about his feminist icons(Germaine Greer, Dorothy Swanson and countless more I'm ashamed to admit I'd never heard of.) He talked about how he had long lost faith in man's ability to rule and referred to his wife and daughter as deities. He spoke about how at conception, all foetuses are female for the first 3 weeks and pondered the significance of that; he explained how originally there were only Goddesses in India. WOW! I could have listened to his philosophy all day but I had to go to this interview. As I left he smiled, shook my hand and said: be yourself.

I did as I was told and I can't say whether I can connect these incidents to the resultant energy in the interview room, but something special happened at that meeting and I sincerely hope to be able to blog about future outcomes soon. Regardless of whatever happens, whether Canada works out for me or I find myself going back home, I already feel I will walk away with more than I came with.