Not So Merry-Go-Round

Not even in Kensington Gardens, ‘the’ Kensington Gardens, can fairground attractions be anything but chavvy. I’ve never met a polite or good looking Carousel attendant and today was no exception when I accidentally walked into the tail end of an Easter Fair. Even when you think you’ve found a diamond in the rough because occasionally you will see a rugged bad boy selling rides, they go and give you a toothless grin or let slip a truly sexist remark. Ah, irritating then that there was absolutely no way I was stopping The Lish from going on a ride. I tried to explain that perhaps the Carousel wasn’t really age appropriate, that perhaps she was a little too young; bit too short for the big horseys but this little girl is...let’s just say, I pity her future boyfriends.


However I was right. She was way too small for the horseys and I also found out that a Carousel wheel can spin. In fact half way through the ride (which of course I had to accompany her on) I was desperately trying not to show fear or throw up. But I tell ya, I was scared and nauseous. Watching the nipper’s face change from a look of elation to sheer horror was like watching a time lapse film of a flower bloom – in reverse.

All I could do was laugh. I guess that’s the end of the affair between funfairs and my kid – so it worked out well in the end. I wasn’t so lucky with ice cream vans.

“When the music plays it means they’ve run out of ice cream.” Yeah, that didn’t wash after she saw with her own eyes that well, it wasn’t true. The look of betrayal burned. You win some, you lose some.

Anyway, she’s 4 tomorrow. I know. Time flies. Does it? Does it really? Because call me a bad person, but no it freaking doesn’t. I’m thinking of taking her to the London Zoo by canal boat. I think she’ll like that but I’ll steer clear of any funny looking horses.