A friend in need is a friend indeed

Christ, what a bummer of a mood.  I think I might be experiencing the beginning of a midlife crisis.  Yes, it has a lot to do with the fact that tomorrow...I'm 39.  The end of my 30s.  Look, I'm not upset with getting old (though I'm not exactly thrilled about aging) because with age comes wisdom and ultimately peace of mind.  With age comes the elixir of life experience which filters through to deliver a truth serum: the hindsight that enables you to see things as they are, to stick two fingers up to the small insignificant stuff and the courage to face and then walk way from the big stuff.

I'm at a crossroads in this sense.  I'm not sure which road to take but I have the feeling it will be one of the most important decisions of my life not least because of course it's not just about me any more.  I'm being cryptic I know but that's the trouble with mid-life crises.  Their very nature is rooted in a snakepit of twisted questions and slippery confusion. 

I'm not alone, for some reason much like the phenomenon that occurs when a bunch of women share the same office space where eventually their periods synchronise, I seems to have lots of friends who are going through the similar personal insecurities.  I have a friend in Spain for example who is fighting the demon drink; a friend in Germany who doesn't know what to do with himself once his kids start school (and he is really bricking it); a friend who just lost her husband to a brain tumour, another one fighting breast cancer.  And yet, here is the greatest thing about all of it -  the most enduring of all human traits:  All of us still have hope.

So while I do actually feel a little bit like crumpling, I'm instead taking a linear and commonsense approach to the basic stuff:  Job, mortgage and a 5 year plan.  How very Virgo of me.

The body and heart will need a little more magic and for these things I have yoga and friends. To wit: I've invited a group of my finest allies to dinner tomorrow. I will revel in their friendship and anecdote because if it's true that life begins at 40, I still have one long and arduous year ahead of me.

Here's to friends.