The Pursuit of Happiness ... been there done it.

I had lunch with some lovely friends this weekend and we got talking, well there wouldn't be much point in silent lunching. We talked about trust, restraint and guilt and the role these emotions play in the pursuit of freedom, happiness, independence and fulfilment, you know in relation to marriage specifically and all that relationship jazz.

We talked about the folly of taking telephone numbers off people (in bar situations) you have no intention of calling. Actually more accurate would be to say people you shouldn't ever call...because well it's a small point but your wife or husband might be a little put out by it. Let's not mistake thrill-seeking with the symptoms of unhappiness.

The solution or quest lies within not at the meat market. I learnt this the hard way and you are all entitled to do so as well. There is nothing wrong with the tactic of temporary distraction from ones woes. Looking is free afterall. Sometimes it wasn't even degrading.

However, I believe that if you sit in the barbershop chair long enough you are going to get a haircut. Especially if you are not addressing the cause. Blah blah - tell us something we don't know.

Ok. Try this on for size. NO-ONE, not one single human being has the kind of willpower to resist temptation. It's important to define the vice in each case. Clearly having cigarettes in the house isn't going to bother a non-smoker. But are you a non-smoker? Once those parameters are set, do not then place yourself in the middle. It's like having alcohol in the house when you're "on the wagon" or if you're on a diet but you buy cookies "for when you have guests". The force will leave you faster than a trophy wife who's just realised your net worth isn't as much as she thought.

So to those who take that telephone number that of course you'll "never call" deserve the paranoia attack which comes with the realisation that it's your partner's turn to do the laundry and you're not sure you've emptied out your pockets from the night before. As my Canadian buddy said at lunch - when faced with a questionable decision (in a bar situation for example) ask yourself - would I do this in front of my wife? Of course the answer depends on whether you want to remain married.

Anyway, I guess this whole happiness thing comes down to one thing. Truth. Actually two things: truth and courage, the sort that comes with conviction.

So anyhow, you can reach me on 905...only joking!!