Read my Diary, Look Through my Stuff and Figure Me Out

Just finished coffee table book 'Cobain Unseen' - a pictorial account of Kurt's disturbing art and ghoulish doll head and skeleton collections. As his wealth grew so did the realism of these pieces. After the frenzy that followed the release of 'Nevermind' which began as a slow burner, the record label initially only pressed 44,000 copies thinking it wouldn't be that much of a success, Cobain retreated and dedicated every waking moment he wasn't taking drugs to producing these often revolting bits of art. He was obsessed with foetuses and anything to do with genitalia. The more deformed the better. It's quite the whacked out exhibit. He also painted and though the tone was always gloomy and dark, he had a real and insatiable gift for it.

It brings temporary conclusion to this phase of my on-going and ever-evolving preoccupation with Cobain that began rather morosely with his death in 1996. I think I'll read his journals next, journals he began as a teenager where he invites us in a creepy precognition 'to read my diary, look through my things and figure me out'.

This isn't an isolated or exclusive fascination. I've read his widow's journals 'Dirty Blonde' a treat for any voyeur. I've also extensively read about the rise and demise of Jim Morrison, Diana Princess of Wales, Marilyn Monroe (who else?), River Phoenix; The merest hint of tragedy and I'm all over it like a fat kid on a smartie. I'm not really sure what drives this interest in doom and death. The bigger the talent lost, the deeper the curiosity runs.

After the media's distortion of these people, I think it might be the humanity of it all that draws me in. I don't like loose ends either. I hate inconclusion and I'm always after 'the answer' to the question. You can imagine my frustration with The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

I was always that student in language class that couldn't accept the fact that some languages cannot be literally translated word for word. Anyway, curiosity hasn't killed me yet so I will continue to respond to the irritating inner child that fuels this thinking. I'll just keep on questing and questioning though I do draw the line at Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.