Beware of false Idols... and toy figurines

So 'The Fit Cobbler' has a name. Billy.  And dirty fingernails.  This is what happens when you get too close to your idols - an irreparable rip in the fantasy-reality continuum occurs and then the jig is up.  Still, better to find out now and not when his hang-nails accidentally catch on your best nylons.  And the name Billy conjures up snott- nosed simpletons with bandy knees, not matinee screen idols (no offence to any Billies out there who do not fit this sweeping generalisation).  No, it simply will not do.  I think a fantasy man needs a Man's name with no time for second syllables, something like Brad, Jake or Pat.  Ok, maybe not Pat, but you know what I mean?

Ah, what do I know?

On more festive notes, I have purchased a Christmas tree.  I'm told it's a no drop, premium spruce.  Of course I didn't fall for the marketing, I fully expect to be having arguments with The Silverback over who's turn it is to pick up the f-ing pine needles within days.  But for now, it emits a hypnotic, fresh, almost cleansing aroma of toilet cleaner that draws you to the front room with the pull of a basketful of freshly baked chocolate muffins (only with fewer calories).

It's lovely I must admit.

The Lish decorated it with baubles and her miniature dolls...so most of the action stops at about two feet from the top of the tree...but that's not the point.  The point is that this was a family activity.  The Silverback gave direction from his armchair, "It's wonkyyyy!" - that sort of thing, while mamanissimo lay flat on her back drinking coffee at 180 degree angles (not recommended what with gravity being what it is) and The Lish did a splendid job of bending the branches.

After rooting through all of her favourite toy figurines and carefully balancing them on the tree - she sat back to contemplate her work.  Chin in hand she said with real emotion: " I'm just a little bit sad I won't be able to play with my toys until after Christmas," her voice cracking at the very end.

"Do you want to take your toy figures back?" I ask, semi-serious.  Incredulous, actually.

"Yes, please mummy."

And we're back at square one. 

Here is a look at the tree before all the toy figures had to come off and YES, I know.   It's still wonky.