Live Through This to Fly Over the Cuckoo's Nest

I'm in study mode, yoga exams coming at me like Clone Troopers on the Star Destroyer. I'm reciting mantras to open chakras, to set intentions; devotional mantras and Omming for England and that's just the homework. I've also had to perform so many sun salutations I may need to get prosthetic arms and legs by the time I graduate and I'm seeing cobras in my third eye (that's the Chakra found in the forehead area). Oh and then there is the small matter of Egor - my skeleton friend who I've had to become intimately and viscerally involved with.

It's all very esoteric and a little unnerving. Plus to top it all off (as if I needed help in this direction) contrary to feeling peaceful and centred I'm instead feeling very very freaking angry and just a little unhinged. I feel like I've only just graduated from being an angry young woman to become an angry middle-aged one and this time I don't have my youthful looks and firm skin to appease. No I'm just a haggard old harridan to anyone  meeting me for the first time.

No, I'm feeling positively disruptive. I want to mess things up, knock stuff off shelves and tables and just leave the mess for someone else to deal with. I want to tell the fools around me that winter is not beautiful, it's fucking miserable and cold even when the sun is out. What is the point of sun when it's minus 10 degrees? Who wants to enjoy the sun from a window like a mental patient?

Then bizarrely I have moments of utter clarity and Zen which of course lead to tremendous forgetfulness. I didn't turn up for work last Monday for example and I forgot to put a potato in the oven for my husband who'd just got back from a big day of meetings ravenous and thankful for the sustenance. Toast for dinner again.  But I aced my anatomy tests.

Could this all be part of the detox that Yoga initiates? Or am I finally succumbing to dementia?

In my defence I did find a raw potato in the laundry room which means at some point I did mean to put it in the oven.

This all has to be interrelated (one hopes to goodness) because if it's all coincidence and I am in fact going mad - well, it was nice knowing you. Hopefully see you on the other side.